These past few days have been rough for me. Lilly developed a little cold on Wednesday and -you know- I'm in my third trimester. It's a recipe for disaster. Wednesday was ok. Thankfully, Ben was off and shouldered the load for me. I woke up feeling unrested and achy (and emotional) so I was achy and crying most of the day. (On a side note: I don't know how you single mamas do it. God bless each and every one of you. I would lose my mind.) Thursday I woke up ready to tackle the day and feeling confident that I could deal with the ungodly creature that is a sick two year old. My patience held for the morning (we went to the park) but began to fade at nap time (or lack there of). By the time Ben came home I was feeling a little slap happy.
And then there's today. You know how in the hulk movies Bruce Banner always says "You're making me angry! And you don't want to see me angry." That was me today. A crazy pregnant lady and a sick toddler are not a good match. I satiated the rage monster with a grande frappuccino (judge me) and have spent a lot of time praying and meditating on this bit of advice from Jordan May you see what lies ahead as obedience to the master – not a sacrifice to what you thought would be your life – for in obedience we see the beauty of who we are to truly be.
Part of the problem is that some days (like today) my ambition gets the best of me. There are so many things I want to do with my time, with this space, with my knitting, with my house and my life- but I am a mother first. I need to put my ambition aside (at least until nap time) and love my daughter the way she needs to be loved. I need to remember that when the kids are grown and I am left with an empty nest I will long for these days (right?).
Anyway- here are some cute pictures from the park. Thanks for letting me get all that off my chest.
ps- these gardenias smelled so amazing that I just about dug up the whole bush and brought it home. Too bad plant theft is discouraged in today's society.
♥
Some days and weeks are like that, aren't they? Sometimes resting in the Lord's goodness with a cup of coffee and permission to dream is time best spent. Hope you have a wonderful weekend and your sweet girl feels better soon.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Thanks for sharing that quote. It really struck home for me.
It's an amazing quote right? My friend Jordan shared it with me. And you are right- I most definitely need to take it easier on myself. The curse of being a mom, amiright?
Deletesweet mama I am praying that Lilly gets better soon, things are always tougher when Judah is sick, I feel like I can get hulk rage and I am not even pregnant...also when I was pregnant with him, their were just days when I had to have Starbucks, no judgement here.
ReplyDeleteI hope this weekend your able to have some time to your self, to get well rested and I hope you give yourself some grace, your doing great, I have no idea how I would handle being pregnant with Judah running around.
Hugs friend
xoxo
and yes I think when we are older we are totally going to look back and miss the days when our toddlers clung to us ;-) Judah is starting to really sleep in his crib full time and my heart already mourns that he won't sleep in our bed next to us anymore. I miss his pudgy arms next to me while I sleep
aw. so sweet and sad that he is in his crib now. I can tell you- it sure is bizarre getting Lilly's old crib ready for a new baby now. xoxo
DeleteI guess you need to remember that you are after all just a human being yourself with limited strength. And to to the best for the kids, you also have to take care of yourself and that maybe means a little break every now and then. It sounds like you are doing an amazing job with Lilly but make sure you also look after yourself and do something you enjoy, I think everyone will benefit from that in the end, when you are more relaxed and not stressed out. My two cents :)
ReplyDeleteAnd a very good two cents at that! My husband would high five you for this. He is always encouraging me to relax- and i used to be so laid back! Becoming a mother has turned me into a busy body for sure.
DeleteI should take my own advice from time to time, I am pretty much the same as you are now. Busy, busy busy and even more busy. But after I had a pretty bad accident last month, I realized that sometimes we need to look after ourselves first. still it is hard to live like this on a regular basis :D
DeleteI - pregnant too - cried looking at your pictures. I know how you feel, and think all of us Mommies really do. We are whole people, wanting to be who we are, wholly, as well as and not apart from our role as Mama. And it's really hard sometimes. Add to that hormones and emotions and sometimes it's just a day. At the end of that day we still know and believe that our babies are our most precious treasures and biggest priorities, we just need coffee sometimes in the middle of it all :) Be blessed! It's all a journey!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kelly! It's nice to know I'm not the only one. ;)
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