Mommyhood Monday // Anxiety

Remember this exchange between Marlin and Dorie in Finding Nemo:
Marlin: I promised I'd never let anything happen to Nemo.
Dorie: That's a funny thing to promise. If you never let anything happen to him nothing would ever happen to him. No fun for little Harpo.

I can tell you completely and honestly that I have a problem with anxiety. Often times I feel just like Marlin. I have struggled with "what if" situations my whole life but it became magnified once I became a mommy. Ben is much more laid back then me and sometimes this can cause stress in our relationship but it is important for me to trust him and say to myself "She is his daughter too! He will make sure she is safe." I know this to be true, sometimes the mommy crazies just take over.

A perfect example of this is the Dog Park. Ben and I used to take Liberty to a dog park by our house several times a week. It is on a lake and Liberty loves to swim, plus there is lots of room to run around and lots of friendly dog and owners to mingle with. The only problem is this: I am a born and raised Florida girl. That means when I see a body of water I automatically start to think about the things that could potentially be in the water that could hurt/kill/eat me... or my beloved pup in this matter. I could usually keep this fear to myself but it became a little harder once I became pregnant. My mothering instinct kicked in and I couldn't help but play out scenarios in my head about what I would do if Liberty got attacked by an alligator. Would I jump in? (That would be crazy!) But I couldn't just watch my pup get eaten! (Ok, I'm officially crazy.)Towards the end of my pregnancy I stopped going with Ben and Liberty to the park. I just couldn't handle the stress it put me though. And once Lillian came along I never looked back.

Until a few weeks ago. I was out to lunch with some gals from church and Ben had Lillian and Liberty. They went to the dog park and he text me a picture of my sweet baby knee deep in the lake. Now by this point I had been working on and praying about my anxiety. I repeated the phrase about trusting Ben and was able to enjoy the rest of my lunch! Divine intervention!

text photo from Ben

Recently, on a day that Ben was off in the morning, I suggested we all go to the Dog Park. He was surprised but went along with the idea. We had a great time and I even said at one point during the trip, "I've got a pretty good grip on my anxiety!" Ben replied, "I noticed and was surprised." (har har)

It is so true that you can't never let anything happen to them because nothing would ever happen to them! And what a sad life that would be.


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