Mommyhood Monday // Resilience

If I recall correctly this photo was taken during Lilly's second time out of the day. It was definitely before 10am. 

One of the hardest things, for me, about parenting is the sheer tenacity you must have about discipline. There are so many times that I don't want to tell Lilly no because of the impending fight it will cause. The fact that I choose to use the word fight shows a lack of resilience on my end. There should never even BE a fight. I am the parent! It isn't like she has a valid argument: 

-No, Lilly, you may not have M&Ms for breakfast.

- But mama, I need M&Ms. 

-No.

-WWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I have read that toddler-hood is all about discovering boundaries and the role of the parent is to enforce these boundaries. It can just be tough, you know!?! Some days I don't want to have to tell her 45 times to not stand so close to the TV or to be the one who says no to sugar upon sugar upon sugar all the time. Some days I just want her to be happy with me all day and not think mama is a meanie. And sometimes a break is necessary (for example- the other night I dreamed that Lilly died and was really shaken up by it. The next morning I ran very late to church because of how long I sat and snuggled her in front of the TV.) BUT- I have to keep in mind the my goal in parenting is to raise a well adjusted, responsible, adult. Not an adult sized child. Therefore- I will continue to tell her no even if it isn't fun for me. I will continue to be the bad guy because I know she will love me for it in the future (Like when she has broken the habit of sticking her fingers in her crack all day long. She would not be a happy middle schooler if she couldn't help sticking her hands in her pants when she got nervous.) 

So a word to all the other toddler moms out there:

WE CAN DO IT!

No matter how much they fight.

All day, every day.

I promise.

♥

Baby Talk V.7

Lilly says, "I just need to do some work."

Welp. Lilly is growing up way to fast. These cute words are becoming fewer and fewer. The other day she even corrected "fry guy" to "french fry"... I almost cried. Here are some of her new sayings:

1. Bing Bang Chair- Bean bag chair. She got one for christmas.
2. Daddy poop- This is probably an overshare- but when she has a BM she always wants to check it out. When there are only tiny little turds in the potty she says, "Where's the daddy poop?" meaning a big one. Haha! I think this came from naming other things (like boxes or dolls) Daddy for the largest, Mommy for the middle and Lilly for the smallest. I find it super funny- apparently funny enough to share with everyone. ha. 
3. Paris Bear- This is a teddy bear she got for christmas from her great grandma. When its hands are touched together is says a prayer... which she calls a paris. 
4. Swipe- translated simply to wipe. But it is super cute when she says it. 
5. Clip- cut. She dreams of being able to cut things it seems because she asks at least once a day to clip something. 
6. Veggies- Ok, this one stumps me. It took me several days to figure out what she wanted. Turns out it's not vegetables! According to Miss Lilly "veggies" are fruit snacks. I'm pretty sure I made this face when I figured it out.

Why can't they stay little forever?!? (ha. jk.)

♥

Want more?
V.1 // V.2 // V.3 // V.4 // V.5 // V.6

Mommyhood Monday // Friends

photo stolen from Amy

Can I just say how happy I am to have this girlie as a friend. Mom friends are so important. I know that may sound silly but it is the truth! 

Amy (of Buggie and Jellybean) and I met through instagram. Soon after I found out that she lived semi close to me and our internet romance blossomed. Amy is an amazing mom and super creative. We finally met up (at Target. Ha!) and hit it off. We have the same sense of humor and have kiddos that are the same age. Nolan and Lilly are so cute together and Nolan's big sis, Avery, is pretty sweet too. 

We hang out with our kiddos but occasionally have girls nights too. We had one last night. We tried a new (to us) Vietnamese restaurant and spent the rest of the night messing around at Starbucks. Girl time honestly refreshes my soul. We talk and laugh and share frustrations. When I was a new mom I had zero mom friends. Trust me on this one- having other mom friends is necessary. You know when you have those days when you think you may actually loose your mind? They've been there. Or when you are crying in your kitchen because your kid just threw the second lunch you prepared for them on the floor. They've been there. They understand and encourage. They are a blessing and a half.

I'll say it again- I am thankful for her and our friendship. 

♥

MM // Potty Training

Whoa. It's almost been a whole week since I blogged last. That is the longest I've even gone since I started this blog almost a year ago. What have I been doing you ask? Potty training and reading The Hunger Games series. Between the two of those things I hardly had time to breath let alone blog! I have lots of thoughts on THG but will save those for another post. zxxxzxzxxzxxzxXxjnmkml,........ (that last little bit was from Lilly.)

Potty training has gone remarkably well. We tried a few months ago and it was a disaster. Everytime she sat on her little potty it ended in a fight so, after my doctor's recommendation, we decided to wait. Let me just say waiting was one of the best parenting decisions to date. She has taken to it this time like a fish to water. Well, almost. Last Monday we went straight into big girl panties which she got in her stocking. She only had one accident on Monday then continued to go in the potty pretty consistently. She had one nap time accident so I decided to do training pants during sleep times which has been great. I think she only had 3ish other accidents after that. Pee Pee accidents, I should say.

Pooping has been a whole different story. She didn't poop at all Tuesday though Saturday. I knew she was just being stubborn but was fed up so I filled her up with apple juice and fiber filled cereal and that did the trick. She pooped on the potty once. Since then she has been very inconsistent. She poops a little on the potty but most of the big turds are reserved for her panties. It is sad/hysterical. It's like she can't feel it coming and then starts to panic. Full on high pitched screaming/immobility while clutching her butt. Haha. Hopefully she resolves that soon!

As for me, potty training has been easier then anticipated. I am naturally a worry wart. I was so full of anxiety about this! It certainly has been a learning experience. I have mostly learned to laugh more. I thought I would freak out over accidents. I was not looking forward to cleaning them up but it really hasn't' been a big deal. We even had once accident at the Goodwill that was my fault. She told me she had to go and we made it to the bathroom but I didn't pull her panties down far enough and put her too close to the edge of the seat so her pee when up and over the edge and into her panties. Amazingly, I got a good laugh out of that one. I have been so laid back! Who would have thought. ;)

Overall, we are happy and she is happy. She loves her panties which are Minnie Mouse, YGG and Tangled. She picked them herself. The lesson learned is that you can't rush potty training (oh, and that mom should relax). As a friend of mine told me, "When they're ready- they're ready."

♥

VBAC VS Cesarean

I have been avoiding blogging (and thinking) about this but I'm running out of time. At my last doctor appointment I was told that I need to make a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarian) vs elective ceasarian decision. To be honest, I was surprised my doctor even gave me an option. I thought I'd have to find a specialists to allow that but I was wrong. Here is what my doctor says:
- I'm a good candidate for a VBAC since I didn't have a failed labor with Lilly. I had a scheduled c-setion because she was frank breech.
- The risk of rupture (my uterus rupturing during labor that is) is less then 1% which is good but if it does rupture the result could be devastating. Not good.

Here are some of my thoughts on a cesarean. My doctor says that my ectopic pregnancy over the summer was probably a result of scar tissue that had built up from my c-section with Lilly. So if I have another c-section will that increase the likelihood of another ectopic if we have more kids? I also have a lot of internal scaring from that was discovered during my surgery over the summer. If I have another c-section will I get a bunch more? Some positives from having another c-section is that they would be able to remove a lot of that scar tissue and (a biggie) I would be guaranteed MY doctor. The office I go to is a group practice so if I choose a VBAC I'm not guaranteed my doctor. I will just have whoever is at the hospital at the time. So my planning loving brain is not a huge fan of that.

More thoughts about a VBAC: I've always felt a strange sense of loss that I didn't get a chance to even try to give birth to Lillian. I have also never been comfortable say that I "gave birth" to her. Because I didn't. She was surgically removed. I know that I carried her and grew her in all that but I still have trouble with that one detail. Obviously, a VBAC is not major surgery so it is less of a risk for me and healing time should be less. I vividly remember how standing up for the first time after my c-section felt and I am keen to avoid that. My biggest problems are the risk of rupture and not being able to have my doctor. Less the 1% is a pretty good statistic but the fact that it would be devastating if it happened scares me. We're talking possible loss of baby and/or uterus. I'm not sure I'm ready for a hysterectomy at the age of 26. And my first thought with not being able to have my doctor was what about being induced. Well- turns out they don't do that for VBAC's. In fact they don't do any sort of alterations to labor. And that could actually be a good thing since a lot of induced labors end in c-section.

I've been spending a lot of time praying for this situation. I have had a hard time trusting God with this. Pregnancy makes me very self protective so it's hard to give that over to him. I know his plan will be best and that it is completely ridiculous to even think that I could do any of this on my own. I have until the end of January to make my decision. I plan to spend lots of time praying and trying trying trying to give this to God. I'd love to hear from you too if you have any experience with this.

Sorry if this post seems a little disjointed- that is how my brain has been working lately.
♥