Mommyhood Monday // Resilience

If I recall correctly this photo was taken during Lilly's second time out of the day. It was definitely before 10am. 

One of the hardest things, for me, about parenting is the sheer tenacity you must have about discipline. There are so many times that I don't want to tell Lilly no because of the impending fight it will cause. The fact that I choose to use the word fight shows a lack of resilience on my end. There should never even BE a fight. I am the parent! It isn't like she has a valid argument: 
-No, Lilly, you may not have M&Ms for breakfast.
- But mama, I need M&Ms. 

I have read that toddler-hood is all about discovering boundaries and the role of the parent is to enforce these boundaries. It can just be tough, you know!?! Some days I don't want to have to tell her 45 times to not stand so close to the TV or to be the one who says no to sugar upon sugar upon sugar all the time. Some days I just want her to be happy with me all day and not think mama is a meanie. And sometimes a break is necessary (for example- the other night I dreamed that Lilly died and was really shaken up by it. The next morning I ran very late to church because of how long I sat and snuggled her in front of the TV.) BUT- I have to keep in mind the my goal in parenting is to raise a well adjusted, responsible, adult. Not an adult sized child. Therefore- I will continue to tell her no even if it isn't fun for me. I will continue to be the bad guy because I know she will love me for it in the future (Like when she has broken the habit of sticking her fingers in her crack all day long. She would not be a happy middle schooler if she couldn't help sticking her hands in her pants when she got nervous.) 

So a word to all the other toddler moms out there:
No matter how much they fight.
All day, every day.
I promise.


  1. Im sure one day she will thank you for breaking her of the habit of stinking her fingers near her crack ha ha ha ha

    Im actually attending this workshop at my church next week that talks about discipline for your child. Honestly its hard! Coming from a family where my father was nothing but abusive its hard to be able to look at Judah and discipline him, so I leave it to Scott which isn't good because I am the one with Judah during the day. So I am going to get some help. I do like the standing in the corner for a min (I sit next to him) when he does something wrong/like tries to eat my Mac computer cord for the 5th time that day. He now gets when I say "No!" and does try to test me, but it is better than it was a month ago :-)

    We can do this!

  2. Oh man...I feel you. I have a five year old and a three year old and almost every morning one of the two of them spends breakfast in time-out. It's an emotionally draining job, but in the long run, they will be better people...thanks for this post - it's a comfort ;)

  3. Oh gosh, that part about her sticking her hands in her pants made me laugh so hard! I walked in the room today & my 4 year old was standing there, pants around his knees, scratching his bum. I said...what are you doing?! Let's go wash your hands! He told me his bottom tickled, so he had to scratch it :)

  4. yeah break her of the hands in the crack thing. that wouldn't be good. hahaha just remember that you're telling her "no" and making these boundaries because you love her. because you want her to grow into the best young lady that she can. and without boundaries and rules and hearing the word "no," she'll be wild and rambunctious and rebellious. you don't have to be mean, but your future self will thank you for it. she's going to grow up as the sweetest little girl because she has YOU for a mama. =]

  5. I went through a rough patch with my mom when I became a hormonal teenager and now we're best friends. You can be her friend when she's older. It's more fun then anyway :)

  6. Thank you so much for this post! I am soooo dealing with this same issue right now. My 15 month old is going through the terrible 2's prematurely. All I ever hear myself is saying NO. I am always the bad guy, but at least I know I do it because I love the little guys so much.