Mommyhood Monday // Having Fun

I had a few different ideas for great and detailed posts for today's mommyhood monday but instead I enjoyed my weekend, played with my little girl and went to the beach twice. And you know what? I learned a valuable lesson: sometimes you have to forget the to do list and just have fun.

kisses!

♥

Lilly + Louise

I know I've mentioned this before but I really love Bob's Burgers. And Louise is my favorite. 

I knew pretty much right away that I wanted to make a bunny hat like her's for Lilly. I tried to make the ears stand up but couldn't find a great way to do it so just ended up having long floppy ears. I finished the hat a few weeks ago but kept forgetting to take a picture of her in it to post here. Tonight we finally got down to business! She was a little sleepy so I had to tickle her to get that half smile.

LOVE!

She wore it to the grocery store last week too. She was so darn cute that I couldn't even say no to her getting into the box of cheerios. Her mischief is made all the more irresistible in that hat.

Have you seen Bob's Burgers yet?

♥

Mommyhood Monday // Anxiety

Remember this exchange between Marlin and Dorie in Finding Nemo:

Marlin: I promised I'd never let anything happen to Nemo.

Dorie: That's a funny thing to promise. If you never let anything happen to him nothing would ever happen to him. No fun for little Harpo.

I can tell you completely and honestly that I have a problem with anxiety. Often times I feel just like Marlin. I have struggled with "what if" situations my whole life but it became magnified once I became a mommy. Ben is much more laid back then me and sometimes this can cause stress in our relationship but it is important for me to trust him and say to myself "She is his daughter too! He will make sure she is safe." I know this to be true, sometimes the mommy crazies just take over.

A perfect example of this is the Dog Park. Ben and I used to take Liberty to a dog park by our house several times a week. It is on a lake and Liberty loves to swim, plus there is lots of room to run around and lots of friendly dog and owners to mingle with. The only problem is this: I am a born and raised Florida girl. That means when I see a body of water I automatically start to think about the things that could potentially be in the water that could hurt/kill/eat me... or my beloved pup in this matter. I could usually keep this fear to myself but it became a little harder once I became pregnant. My mothering instinct kicked in and I couldn't help but play out scenarios in my head about what I would do if Liberty got attacked by an alligator. Would I jump in? (That would be crazy!) But I couldn't just watch my pup get eaten! (Ok, I'm officially crazy.)Towards the end of my pregnancy I stopped going with Ben and Liberty to the park. I just couldn't handle the stress it put me though. And once Lillian came along I never looked back.

Until a few weeks ago. I was out to lunch with some gals from church and Ben had Lillian and Liberty. They went to the dog park and he text me a picture of my sweet baby knee deep in the lake. Now by this point I had been working on and praying about my anxiety. I repeated the phrase about trusting Ben and was able to enjoy the rest of my lunch! Divine intervention!

text photo from Ben

Recently, on a day that Ben was off in the morning, I suggested we all go to the Dog Park. He was surprised but went along with the idea. We had a great time and I even said at one point during the trip, "I've got a pretty good grip on my anxiety!" Ben replied, "I noticed and was surprised." (har har)

It is so true that you can't never let anything happen to them because nothing would ever happen to them! And what a sad life that would be.

♥

The Mischief of Lillian Elouise and the coffee bag

Ben had the day off yesterday so I got to spend a little time on the computer while Lillian was awake. This is what I heard while I was shut away in the computer room:

Daddy: "Lillian, what are you doing? Oh, no. No no. Lillian that is naughty. Daddy should have been paying more attention."
Me: "What's going on out there?"
Daddy: "Nothing! Don't come out here!"

Well, you know I wasn't going to stay put. When I walked out of the computer room the above picture is what I saw. Lillian had grabbed a bag of coffee off the counter and found a few measuring cups. Then she sat on the floor and scooped the coffee out to play with. LOL! So stinkin' cute.

When I ran back into the computer room to grab my phone. Ben did not want me to take a picture (like that would stop me). I felt like the paparazzi.

I ♥ my family.

Mommyhood Monday // Pregnancy Story part 3

Ahhh, the conclusion of a 3 week saga. Boy, I can get long winded sometimes. This one is definitely the happiest and most fun. (ps- if you want to catch up here are parts one and two.)

August 19th 2009

I can honestly say that despite my previous disappointment about the c-section it was a great experience. We got to the hospital around 7am and were almost immediately called back into surgery prep. We visited with the friendly nurses and answered lots of questions before my scheduled surgical hour, nine o'clock. There were only a few hick ups. The most painful (pre-delivery) part was getting my iv put in. The nurse had a hard time finding a vein so I got poked a few times. The epidural (the part I was most worried about) was easy... for me. Ben was standing across from me holding my hands while it was administered. He says that he saw the anesthesiologist pick up a gigantic needle and jam in into my back. (I had been given a numbing agent in my back already so I just felt pressure.) Then he saw me lurching forward as I was being poked and simply said "I think I need to sit down." Apparently that phrase isn't allowed in the hospital because they made him go in another room, lay down on a stretcher and drink some apple juice. He was fine. And he learned to never say those words in a hospital again. (hee hee)

We were wheeled back into surgery promptly at 9am. I was blissfully numb at the time so everything was just dandy for me. I do remember feeling like them were going to dump me on the floor when I was being rolled onto the operating table. It was a quick and easy experience. Lillian Elouise was born at 9:24 am and was perfectly healthy. She and her daddy went into recovery which they stitched me back up. At this point I became aware of a feeling I would identify as pain, although it didn't really hurt (drugs). I still told the anesthesiologist (who was with me the whole time) about it and she said "That is normal. They are putting your uterus back in." I pretty sure I would have freaked out about this if I were in a normal state of mind. 

Everything went swimmingly in recovery. Lilly was great and I was too but we weren't allowed to go to our normal room until I was able to wiggle my toes. I felt just like the bride from Kill Bill. "Wiggle your big toe." I'm sure I said that out loud several times. Turns out I'm a little goofy on drugs. We finally made it to our room on enjoy our sweet little baby girl. The was perfect except for one thing: her sweet little head was completely flat on top because she had been pressed up into my ribs for so long.

The pediatrician said it would probably round out on it's own (which it did) but also informed us that we could choose to put a "shaping helmet" on her. We declined.

I was pretty determined to get up and walk around to get the recovery ball on a roll. It was no fun and hurt like crazy but got easier every time and we got to go home a day early. I was and am so in love with this amazing little creature. She is so full of happiness, wonder and curiosity. I love being a mommy, her mommy. 

 Through all of this I learned that, no matter how they get here, babies are the most amazing thing in the world. 

Thanks for reading my story.

♥

Snap Shots

This morning Lilly and I went to the park. We ran. We played soccer. We sniffed flowers. We chased a butterfly. We watched the train come through the station. It was a very good morning.

ABC's

Found this on Becky's blog and thought it would be fun!


A: Age: 25
B. Bed size: Queen
C. Chore that you hate:  Anything that has to be done more then once a day... (ie clean kitchen, put away toys)
D. Dogs: Liberty (aka Libby, Berty or Lil Bitty)
E. Essential start to your day: Peppermint Mocha Cappuccino (but Target discontinued my Peppermint Mocha creamer!!)
F. Favorite color: Pink or Red depending on how much of an adult I feel like that day.
G. Gold or Silver: Gold
H. Height: 5'8ish
I. Instruments you play: Guitar Hero
J. Job title: SAHM
K. Kids: Lillian Elouise
L. Live: Florida
M. Mother's name: Marleah (mar-LEE-ah)
N. Nicknames: currently: Baish (only by my baish) and Tater Bug/Tooter Bug when I was a lil kid.

O. Overnight hospital stays: C- Section with Lilly.

P. Pet peeve: Food in the sink.

Q. Quote from a movie: "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." - Albus Dumbledore

R. Right or left handed: Right

S. Siblings: Older brother and sister. Jason and McKinley respectively

T. Time you wake up: I try to wake up before Lilly gets up so I can have a shower and enjoy my breakfast in peace.

U. Underwear: Nunya*

V. Vegetable you hate: Califlower

W. What makes you run late: going back into the house to get whatever it was that I inevitably forgot.

X. X-Rays you've had: My ankle. I tore a ligament in middle school (while cheerleading! gasp!) 

Y. Yummy food that you make: Anything in a crock pot. I ♥ my crock pot.

Z. Zoo animal: Any big cat! I love love love big cats.

You next! And link me in the comments so I can see yours!

* bidness.

Mommyhood Monday // Pregnancy Story part 2

Mommyhood Monday continues with part two of my pregnancy story. I'm realizing that I should have left a little bit of last weeks post for this part because of how much longer it was! Oh, well...

To read part one click here.

The following visit to the doctor's revealed that Lillian was frank breech. I really feel like it was a miracle that we found out. Because of the hospital visit I reschedule my next doctors appointment for the next available at my group office. I ended up seeing a registered nurse practioner whom I had never been to before. She was concerned by the events of the previous weekend and more concerned with my fundal height (measurement of my belly) because it was smaller then it should have been. Usually fundal height should corrilate with how many weeks you are. 36 inches = 36 weeks approximately. I was measuring small and the nurse was thinking that the doctors may have over estimated my due date (not what I wanted to hear). So she sent me to get an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed that my due date was correct but that Lilly was upside down. So small uterus size + frank breech baby = c-section. Like a dummy I went to the doctor's office alone which left me crying by myself in the room after the visit. 

At my baby shower. 

I was pretty depressed for a little bit. At times I still feel a little cheated, but I know His plans are best. When I finally picked myself up off the floor I scheduled Lillian's birthday for August 19. That part was a little exciting. Knowing exactly when it was going to happen was great. 

The last month of my pregnancy was pretty boring. What I failed to mention before is that due to these strange contractions I was put on, what I like to call, working bed rest. I could still work but had to sit for as much of the day as I could. This meant I spend all of my time at work answering phones and all of my time at home rolling around on an office chair. It was pretty ridiculous. Oh, how I wish I had entered the wonderful world of blogging back then. I'm pretty sure I spent most of my time watching "Baby Story" on discovery health. 

Before I knew it August had rolled around. I was nervous/excited/scared/exhausted/elated all at the same time. The nursery was finished, the bags were packed and we were ready to go. 

August 18, 2009

Birth story next week. ;)

♥

Lilly's dedication

Hi friends! Happy Monday!

Sorry I've been kinda MIA this weekend. We have been busy busy. I just finished cleaning up (part of) the mess leftover from this weekend but wanted to pop in real quick and share these pictures of Lillian's dedication. 

I will be back this evening for Mommyhood Monday round two and maybe even my love+like+dislike from the weekend.

♥

Mommyhood Monday // Pregnancy Story part 1

So, I've wanted to share my experience with pregnancy, birth and motherhood and have had so much fun writing about it that I hope to turn it into a series. Looking back over the past can be very therapeutic! I am going to do my pregnancy story with Lilly in two or three parts (depending on how long winded I get). So here we go!

ps- I think the one of the biggest lessons I learned from looking back over my first pregnancy is that if you don't like your attitude or how people perceive it then change it! Am I say to change who you are or to become someone else? Maybe. I know my guilt and insecurity really affected my pregnancy experience and I wish I had been strong enough to say "You know what? Maybe I'm uncomfortable now but get over it! This is an amazing thing that is happening! Share and enjoy it!"

2 months pregnant

My Lilly was a surprise. I mean obviously my husband and I knew what we were doing and that a baby could happen we just didn't expect it at the time. I remember looking down at the 8ish pregnancy tests and feeling shock. At times I felt like I was too young to be pregnant which was silly because I was 23 and had been married for three years. (Yikes! When I hear about 20 year olds getting married now I automatically think "What are they doing?!?! They are too young to get married!" hypocrite much?) It took me a long time to get used to the idea that I was pregnant. I felt like it was such an intimate experience that I HAD to share. You can only keep a pregnancy private for so long, you know?

Because I was having trouble getting used to being pregnant and the attention that comes along with it people assumed I was not happy to be having a baby. That made me sad because I didn't feel that way at all. It was such a strange mix of emotions that I still can't really explain it. I think part of it was that I had just moved back to Florida and that I didn't have any married friends and certainly didn't have any pregnant/mama friends. I also had the worst work situation I've ever experienced going on at the time. Put all that together and I felt alone/cried a lot. I had guilt due to the face that I was supposed to be shouting my happy news from the roof tops! Looking back I wish I had just cut myself a break. Not all pregnancies, mommies or babies are the same and that's ok! In fact, it is the way God intended it!  And I bet if I cut myself a break and didn't romanticize that guilt then getting rid of it would have been much easier.

Around the 6th month (I think) my attitude started to change. I became more comfortable and excited. We had found out we were having a little girl, we picked out a name. I bought clothes that actually fit (it sounds shallow but it does wonders for the self esteem). I started decorating the nursery and researching different birth plans. I'm the kind of person who enjoys a physical challenge so the idea of a natural/drug free child birth was exciting for me. But God had a different plan for me.

When I was about 8 months along I started having contractions. I chalked it up to braxton hicks but became a little weary when they became a regular, almost daily occurrence. I finally called my doctor after working a closing shift and getting them every 5 to 7 minutes for 3+ hours. He told me to go to the hospital. They had explained that patients are called back based on the severity of their situation not the order of arrival so I expected to sit in triage for several hours, go back to a room and be sent home pretty quickly diagnosed with braxton hicks. Here's what really happened. I waited about 15 minutes (starting to worry) was put into a room and hooked up to monitors (a little more worried) was told they were real contractions even though they did a test that showed I wasn't in real labor (what does that even mean? even more worried). I stayed in the hospital for a few hours while they gave me intravenous fluids then shots and pills to stop the contractions. Something was definitely up. I was sent home with instructions to take off work and rest until I could go see my doctor. I wish I had asked more questions but due to my high freak out capacity I think my brain had mostly shut down.

Unfortunately my doctor did not tell me everything was ok at my next appointment but I'll save that part for next week. 

 ♥